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The South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade
Nzimande has announced plans to have witchcraft included in the
curriculum from 2018.
Speaking to representatives from student unions around the country,
the minister announced the shocking move and urged future university
entrees to consider taking Witchcraft. “There is a lot we can learn from
witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine if we
learn that skill. It will eradicate traffic jams and everyone will just
get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be importing fuel
anymore.” Blade said.
The announcement was met with boos and bottle throws from the packed
auditorium who had gone to the meeting hoping the minister would
announce a 0% fee increase for the coming year. The unperturbed minister
also invited renowned witches to make an appointment with his office so
they can have their skills tested and those outstanding would then be
hired as lecturers.
He also invited witches from across the border, promising them
permanent residents permits. “I spoke to Gibs (Minister of Home affairs
Malusi Gigaba) and he agreed to issue witches from outside South Africa
with permanent residence permits. I heard Malawi and Zimbabwe have an
impressive collection of witches. We are hoping they will heed the
call”, he added.
Applications is said to be closing on the 30th of September at
midnight, after which an appointed panel with conduct interviews. There
currently is an opening for 109 witches.
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