Empathy typically isn’t a trait that springs to mind when you think
of professional relationships. But Gail Gross, Ph.D., a family,
relationship and child development expert and the host of the PBS radio
show Let’s Talk, says empathy is the most important characteristic for relationships, whether at work or with family members or friends.
“If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, even if you
don’t agree, then you can often see the issue from their perspective.
This will then open the door for collaboration and communication,” Gross says. “If you are busy defending yourself, then you can’t hear what the other person has to say.”
| “If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, even if you don’t agree, then you can often see the issue from their perspective. This will then open the door for collaboration and communication,” |
Gross developed an empathetic process that can be used to improve all types of relationships:
1. When attempting to work out differences, meet in a neutral
location, such as a conference room or restaurant. Do not meet in one
party’s office because that puts one person in a power position. If the
discussion is between family members, sit down together in the kitchen.
2. Set ground rules before talking: Neither party can use hurtful language or personal attacks.
3. Divide the time allowed for the discussion into thirds.
4. For the first third of the time, one person talks while the other
person actively listens. Then for the second third of the time, the
other person talks.
5. During the last third of the time, both parties work together to
solve the problem. You don’t have to agree with each other, just
collaborate on a compromise that has value for both people.
“At the end of the day, trust is based on experience,” Gross says.
“By using empathy, you develop tremendous trust with your colleagues,
significant other or children. The key to a good relationship is
mutuality, with no one winning and no one losing.”
This article appears in the August 2015 issue of SUCCESS magazine.
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PLEASE BE POLITE